Media-dom’s most prized source of unfocussed random thought. Since 2013.
* Japanese researchers are working with a potential new energy source from undersea – “flammable ice”. Not only may it address energy shortfalls, but it’s tipped to be a real conversation-starter in mixed drinks at your local pub.
* Scientists labouring around the clock have still been unable to identify so much as a single sustainable laugh from any released trailer for “The Incredible Burt Wonderstone”.
* Shane Warnie suggests the answers to the woes of the Australian test cricket team are alcohol and music. This is exactly where The Warnie differs from Homer Simpson. You know Warnie is thinking of bonding, restorative bursts of “Khe Sanh” by Cold Chisel, whereas Homer Simpson would recommend and endorse the “wild shirtless lyrics of Mark Farner” in the musical oeuvre of Grand Funk Railroad. And that would be the ONLY difference between Shane Warnie and Homer Simpson.
* Why do they change the Pope’s name once he’s elected? It’s very little protection – everybody knows who he really is, and they certainly know exactly where he’s going to live.
* Apparently emails have revealed Gina Rinehart offered her daughter $300 million to stop the public bickering and infighting in the family. Since the legal action is ongoing, this appears to have been rejected. I just want to make it clear to Gina Rinehart that, while I don’t know her and have never met her, for a mere trifle of $50 million, I am absolutely willing to quietly resent her the rest of my life, and stay away from her, and, if she desires, make no further contact with her the rest of her life.
Also, if any other public figures have been having similar trouble with their kids, I am absolutely willing to provide them with the same offer, and meticulous dedicated professional service along the specified lines. I stress that this is an absolutely genuine offer of silent resentment, non-contact and otherwise doing nothing, in exchange for 50 million dollars. I will not dicker. However, if you can assemble five friends at a time who all are wanting to be silently resented and otherwise left alone by me, I would be willing to provide my professional service to all five for $225 million paid collectively. This is a limited offer until next Wednesday, as I know my electricity bill is coming up around then.