DEVIL’S ADVOCATE, 16th March 2013

(From what I can see, my Saturday col in The Age didn’t get the interweb treatment on their fine site this weekend. Don’t know how all that works, but since I’ve had the odd comment from folks who didn’t see it, I’ll put the column up here.)


Grappling with Melbourne’s future

* What we need from the community on this historic grand prix weekend + is a lot less griping and a lot more forward-thinking. Clearly there remains a critical shortfall of major events here in Melbourne Town – apparently, without the GP, we’d be bereft of them – and there is constant danger of falling off any given number of maps, reportedly. While our state government is impersonating a tour promoter, let’s book the WWE’s Wrestlemania event here for 2014. Folks would actually come to it, you don’t have to pay Bernie Ecclestone $30 million for it, and they’d whack a shot of Port Philip Bay in the opening credits. Sweet deal all around.

+ (One assumes that all of them are somehow historic.)

*  Some kerfuffle was evident regarding the venue for the pre-season AFL comp grand final – specifically whether it should have been played in Brisbane, or on the Gold Coast, or apparently anywhere north of our putative Mason-Dixon line. It needs to be said that this was nothing whatsoever to do with public concern on the matter, which was all but undetectable.

Maybe this can be ascribed to the rarefied air which exists within sporting clubs, (in this case, Brisbane Lorns), where everyone often runs around frantically agreeing with each other a lot. That is, sometimes the cooling winds of exterior reality aren’t allowed to temper the fevered notions of bizarre hoo-hah.

To put it another, and thankfully simpler, way, the pre-season comp remains living proof that just because a given sequence of events necessarily comes to an end, and thus may include the word “final”, it doesn’t mean anyone will agree that said conclusion constitutes anything “grand”.  Also, unless those Duckworth and Lewis characters from cricket are still around, there’s probably no-one on the face of the planet who now understands how the AFL pre-season competition works, much less cares.

*  On Australian cricket’s High SchoolGate incident, some folk earnestly suggested that writing a self-evaluative essay could be a valuable learning exercise in a business context. What we mostly learn from this is that you’d hate to spend ten years with whoever said that. Also, that it would probably take no more than seven minutes for you to feel like you’d spent ten years with them.



3 thoughts on “DEVIL’S ADVOCATE, 16th March 2013

  1. The Grand Prix in Melbourne is so popular it is the only one in the world that has the have the V8 Supercars so they actually get anyone coming to the non race days at all.

  2. The Thursday is now free, too, which probably isn’t the best sign from a marketability point of view. From the Thurs pix I saw, which were taken all over the race area, most people apparently found “free” too expensive.

  3. I know this is late. But you and Stu have stuffed my bloody thursday arvos.
    Hows a chap meant to enjoy his much looked forward to bullshit afternoon to now be confronted with Shite.
    Thank you

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