Suggested lyrics for a proposed theme song for AFL umpires.
Adapted from a newspaper column from early 2008.
(To the tune of The Caissons Go Rolling Along)
Waving here, blowing there
Though they may not have much hair
As the umpies they kill us again.
Five-foot-four, not much more,
Our dismay they will ignore
As the umpies all kill us again.
They are serial repeaters
Who can’t measure 15 metres
And their free kicks will drive us ’round the bend
You may moan, you may pray
They’ll be doing it all day
As the umpies destroy us again.
(Concluding horn flourish and timpani roll)